MAC Buoy Prototypes Leaked by NEX McDonald’s Employees

Security experts across the fleet were scrambling to contain spillage on the Navy’s Newest MAC Buoy Prototypes. The typical suspects were all interviewed, including every divorced P-8 NFO just begging to be honeypotted at your local base bar. After a thorough investigation, it turns out the spillage came from a 17-year old NEX McDonald’s employee.

While the damage to national security cannot be understated, the contractor who won the bid for the production of MAC Buoy’s came as an even bigger surprise. Somehow, McDonald’s won the bid over Burger King and Sparton for an antisubmarine buoy. Defense lobbyists across the country did not see that one coming.

The Piggieback has obtained exclusive images of the buoys:

This design concept was leaked via Tik Tok.

There are accusations that McDonald’s bribed Navy acquisitions officials by offering to install ice cream machines in P-8s. Unfortunately the ice cream machines the Golden Arches gave to the ships to sweeten the deal are broken at the moment.

Kraft Mac and Cheese also decided to throw their hat in the ring as well. Rumor is that the DoD is testing a method of using the Kraft Mac and Cheese powder as a sonar-absorbent coating for allied submarines.

Kraft went for the old-school approach.

At press time, Apple was no longer bidding for the contract due to accusations of selling user data to China.

Apple clearly went with the SE version.