Chris Hansen Debuts New To Catch a Predator Series Focusing Exclusively on Military Officers Preying on Enlisted

You asked, they listened! In a bold new direction, To Catch a Predator is back—this time zeroing in on a very specific (but totally unsurprising) category of offenders: military officers sliding into enlisted DMs.

“We really peaked when we had that Bell’s palsy guy sobbing in a kitchen, and honestly, it’s been downhill since,” said Chris Hansen, polishing his clipboard. “But now? We’re talking about predators in uniform, these butter bars and field-grade creeps who think their rank somehow makes them untouchable. Let’s see how well their FITREP bullets hold up in a sting operation.”

The new series will feature a variety of cases, including a lieutenant commander who “just wanted to mentor” a junior sailor in the barracks, a captain whose texts read like a bad Fifty Shades knockoff, and a lieutenant who claimed she was only at the off-post Applebee’s “to talk about career progression.”

At press time, the rapture arrived, and all O-4s were immediately reassigned to Hell without leave or liberty.