American Contractors Destroy Ship Before the Chinese Even Get a Chance

Chinese saboteurs were left with nothing to do after Raytheon and BAE Systems had their way with another destroyer. Poor ship didn’t even have a chance to empty her magazines first.

“Well, we honeypotted at least one sailor on each ship in 7th Fleet to wreck their ships before deployment, but turns out we didn’t have to. American contractors did all the hard work for us,” a PLAN Spokesperson said. “We just don’t understand why the Pentagon would pay billions of dollars to companies that literally break their ships instead of fixing them.”

At press time, Raytheon just announced its annual luncheon for the Defense Contract Management Agency.