Family Secretly Dreading End of Daddy’s Deployment

As the nine months are coming to an end, it’s getting really difficult for the Smith family to pretend like they’re excited their father and husband, LCDR Klooless Smith, is coming home from deployment.

“We just got used to Daddy not being around, and even when he is, he’s either asleep or drinking from a bottle in his special fridge,” Sally, LCDR Smith’s four-year-old daughter, said with tears in her eyes. “I was hoping he’d get extended.”

At press time, Mrs. Smith’s special guy friend was seen moving all his stuff out of the house while LCDR Smith’s 12-year-old son shouted after him “Are you still coming to my Little League All-Star game, new Dad?”