Geobachelor Pays Landlord $2,700/month To Take His Kids to Soccer Practice and Fuck His Wife

An all-in-one service! For all you sailors overseas away from your families, this will bring you hope. Don’t worry about not fulfilling your responsibilities as a father or a lover. Your landlord can fulfill those while you’re gone!

Just give half of your income (the part that’s tax-free) to a stranger who owns your apartment and he’ll become your son’s new favorite person since he was actually there for his soccer game and your wife’s favorite person because he can provide the emotional and sexual stability you can’t since you’re thousands of miles away.

At press time, you just got extended. Get fucked.