Alien Encounter Actually Just Really Ugly Unqualified LTJG

Anyone watch the news lately? People with above-marginal credibility are testifying in Congress that alien “biologics” have been found recovered in crashed UFOs. I grew up on Ancient Aliens and believed in this shit before it was cool, so I’m mildly annoyed that TikTok is talking about this.

Wow, they actually showed pictures on the CSPAN broadcast. Some ugly lizard-creature passed out in what looks like a ‘97 Corolla. Wait, isn’t that just your ugly-ass buddy from BDOC? Did he just got shitfaced in an Uber and ended up in Nevada near Area 51. You know who I’m talking about. Not even summer whites could save this guy. I’m talking about someone who swan-dived from the ugly tree and hit every twig on the way down.

At press time, your buddy from BDOC in 2020 is still unqualified.