Department Head Requires Tommy John Surgery After Excessive Masturbation

Written By The Piggieback

I didn’t even know this was possible, but a SWO Department Head, LT Iam Symper, actually had to get surgery because of an “overuse injury” on his right elbow. He’s going to need to replace his Ulnar Collateral Ligament (Tommy John Surgery).

Look out for for a DH taking a medical leave of absence who comes back with the same injury Shohei Ohtani got after multiple seasons of being the world’s best baseball player in history (Babe Ruth is overrated). Somehow your DH got the same injury just for jacking off too much.

After an ERS (earned sex average) of 0.00 over his DH tour, which tied for the best of any DH in 7th Fleet, LT Symper will be out until at least the 2025 season while he rehabilitates his elbow.

The Piggieback
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